September 4, 2006
Just found a great Female Domination resource: femdomale.com is a non-profit educational site about female domination and femdom stories.
Female Domination- by Sam Slav
Female domination, or femdom, refers to BDSM activities where the dominant partner is female. The female dominant party in female domination related activities is sometimes called a dominatrix.
Naturally, female domination activities may draw on all areas of BDSM, but there tends to be an association with radical feminism, whether seriously or fantastically. This can lead to apparent paradoxes, such as the humiliation of men by feminization, though it is readily resolved by seeing this as disclaiming traditional gender associations, and transference of coded images of weakness onto men. Strap-on dildo play plays a significant part in this as well. The inverse of this is of course to glorify the feminine, for example in panty fetishism and boot worship.
Erotic Female Domination and Humiliation
Similarly, erotic female domination and humiliation can focus on the inadequacy of a male sub’s penis (small penis humiliation), demoting it to a plaything for the dominatrix, over which the male has no real control. Related female domination activities include ballbusting, cock and ball torture (CBT), verbal humiliation, forced chastity, and orgasm denial or orgasm control. Many participants in this lifestyle conform to the Safe, sane and consensual model prevalent in the BDSM Community.
Psychology of Humiliation
Humiliation in general touches strong emotional buttons, the more so when it becomes sexualized. Because of this, consent and paradoxically a high degree of awareness and communication is needed, to ensure that the result is desirable rather than abusive. For example, a submissive male may enjoy being insulted in some ways, but genuinely crushed and devastated if humiliated or insulted in other ways.
Humiliation play is also connected to sexual fetishism, in that non-sexual activities may become sexualized by association with arousal, and also may be associated with exhibitionism in the sense of wanting others to witness (or being aroused by others witnessing) ones sexual degradation.
For some people, activities such as name-calling are a way of achieving ego reduction or getting over sexual inhibitions. For example, in female dominations, terms usually associated with homophobia may be used to submissives, such as “faggot”.
As with all sexual activities, some people have sexual fantasies about humiliation, and others actually undertake it as a lifestyle or in a scene. Sexual fantasies of humiliation are very common, but for most people remain a fantasy - they would have strong reservations about it being public, or engaged in with a partner for real, however erotic the idea may be. Others do explore humiliation with partners, and many people use online humiliation (where the humiliator and others are involved via the internet using chat, email, websites, etc.) as a compromise between exhibitionism and reality on the one hand, and safety and anonymity on the other.
Female Domination Scenarios
Light female domination scenarios may involve body worship, especially foot worship and ass worship.
More intense and heavier female domination scenarios may involve facesitting or smothering, which tend to focus on the sub giving the dominant female oral pleasure, or the dominant female performing anal sex on the sub using a strap-on dildo. Other forms of more intense female domination can include face slapping, hair pulling, caning, heavy torture, dripping hot wax on the genitals and heavy whipping. For these purposes, note the issue of legal consent which may or may not represent a defense to criminal liability for any injuries caused.
In extreme scenarios, there is a focus on exchange of bodily fluids and total forfeit of rights from the slave, and acts may involve spitting domination or watersports (also known as golden shower).
A fairly common variation on this is a rape fantasy in which the female is the dominant partner, or wrestling/fighting in which the female is stronger than the male. These carry a similarity to forced feminization, where the sexual fantasy takes on an intellectual/emotional component, with men either trying to, or pretending to try to, take control, but failing.
Various components of female dominance in a relationship may include one or more of a wide variety of components such as (to name just a few examples):
Adoration; Aggressive sex play; Alternative spirituality; Body worship; Bondage and discipline; Cruelty; Denial; Depersonalization; Domestic service; Dominance and submission; Erotic boxing/wrestling; Erotic “torture”; Feminist spirituality; Fetishism; Flagellation; Foot worship; “Forced” feminization; “Forced” chastity; Goddess worship; Gynosupremacy (female superiority) as a form of role playing; Humiliation & Humbling; Masochism; Maid service; Pain play; Personal services; Role playing; Sadism; Sensation play; Service (of a wide variety of means); and Subservience.
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